Thank you for visiting my blog! I'm not the best writer so bare with me as I try to tell about my experience :) I am a mom of 4 ranging from ages 13-3. About 12 years ago I decided that one day I would help a family bring a child into this world. In 2011 I met my first Intended family and delivered a baby boy on Aprils fools Day 2012. I now am matched with my second family and I look forward to what this journey brings to us.
As a former IP (My son was born via surrogate over a year ago) I can not imagine how heart breaking it must be for you to not have any contact with the baby who grew inside you. I can however tell you a little bit about how felt after the birth of my son. When he was born I felt over joyed and SO immensely grateful to our surrogate. I was also a bit jealous that she was the one who got to give birth. I can not imagine how uncomfortable, painful and emotional it is to give birth but I wish I could know. I wish I could have given birth to my son. After he was born I was holding him and G (our surrogate) started to talk and my son turned his head towards her. He knew her voice, he knew her but he had no idea who I was. IT BROKE MY HEART. He started to cry. I knew in my heart it was because he wanted G. I handed him to her and he settled. He knew her heartbeat and her voice and her smell. I'd be flat out lying if I said it did not cause me to turn green with envy. He felt at home with her and not with me. This of course was not her fault. He was in her womb for 42 weeks (she had to be induced to get him out!) We also had talked before hand about her nursing the baby while in the hospital because as everyone knows breast milk especially colostrum is best for baby so we wanted him to have the best and she agreed to do this. So he stayed in her room and nursed on demand for 2 days. We (husband and I ) were right there was well. She lives 30 minuets from us and pumped breast milk for him for the first 6 MONTHS of his life. She truly is AMAZING. He also was able to nurse from her often as we visited her every day the first 2 weeks post postpartum. After two weeks we visited a bit less but no less than 3 times a week. Now fast forward to today and she is still very much a part of our lives but thankfully my jealously is gone and now I only have love towards her. She is our first pick for baby sitter when husband and I need a date night and my son still loves her to pieces. I think you former IP's probably really struggled with jealously and did not know how to handle it. It is normal to feel jealous of your surrogate but it is unfortunate that they let that get in the way of what could have been a beautiful relationship for them and for their son. STAY STRONG. Your surro boy has a bond with you that no one can take away. He grew inside you and like your mother said no one can take that away. Bless you and stay strong.
Would love to talk to you! We are looking into this and would love some information. My email is syndee.atkinson@yahoo.com I'm also from Utah and think this is a totally amazing process. Looking for a match!
As a former IP (My son was born via surrogate over a year ago) I can not imagine how heart breaking it must be for you to not have any contact with the baby who grew inside you. I can however tell you a little bit about how felt after the birth of my son. When he was born I felt over joyed and SO immensely grateful to our surrogate. I was also a bit jealous that she was the one who got to give birth. I can not imagine how uncomfortable, painful and emotional it is to give birth but I wish I could know. I wish I could have given birth to my son. After he was born I was holding him and G (our surrogate) started to talk and my son turned his head towards her. He knew her voice, he knew her but he had no idea who I was. IT BROKE MY HEART. He started to cry. I knew in my heart it was because he wanted G. I handed him to her and he settled. He knew her heartbeat and her voice and her smell. I'd be flat out lying if I said it did not cause me to turn green with envy. He felt at home with her and not with me. This of course was not her fault. He was in her womb for 42 weeks (she had to be induced to get him out!) We also had talked before hand about her nursing the baby while in the hospital because as everyone knows breast milk especially colostrum is best for baby so we wanted him to have the best and she agreed to do this. So he stayed in her room and nursed on demand for 2 days. We (husband and I ) were right there was well. She lives 30 minuets from us and pumped breast milk for him for the first 6 MONTHS of his life. She truly is AMAZING. He also was able to nurse from her often as we visited her every day the first 2 weeks post postpartum. After two weeks we visited a bit less but no less than 3 times a week. Now fast forward to today and she is still very much a part of our lives but thankfully my jealously is gone and now I only have love towards her. She is our first pick for baby sitter when husband and I need a date night and my son still loves her to pieces. I think you former IP's probably really struggled with jealously and did not know how to handle it. It is normal to feel jealous of your surrogate but it is unfortunate that they let that get in the way of what could have been a beautiful relationship for them and for their son. STAY STRONG. Your surro boy has a bond with you that no one can take away. He grew inside you and like your mother said no one can take that away. Bless you and stay strong.
ReplyDeleteWould love to talk to you! We are looking into this and would love some information. My email is syndee.atkinson@yahoo.com I'm also from Utah and think this is a totally amazing process. Looking for a match!
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